Remember the old adage about what happens when we assume?
And yet, we do it all the time—especially when someone on the team isn’t performing as expected. We jump to conclusions, assuming we know why they did what they did.
Sure, assuming motives is faster and easier - at first. In the long run, it’s expensive—in time, money, loss of psychological safety, lower morale, and team culture.
The good news? It doesn’t have to be hard to get to a real conversation and a real solution.
Next time you have concerns about a team member’s performance, try this approach instead of leaping to assumptions:
- Start with the work, not the person. Let the team member know you have concerns about a specific project, process, or client. Keep it factual.
- Ask for their perspective. Have they noticed anything concerning? You might be surprised at what they share—and it may or may not match your concerns and understanding.
- Listen with your undivided attention and from a place of curiosity. Reflect back key points to confirm understanding. This shows respect as well as ensures clarity.
- Frame the concern at a results level. Highlight the outcomes you care about (timeliness, client satisfaction, cost, group dynamics, project success) rather than personal shortcomings.
- Explore the why. Ask the team member why they think these results are happening—and again truly listen. Suspend your assumptions.
- Reflect on your own. Consider: Are there legitimate reasons you haven't considered or looked into? Are they owning their role or shifting blame?
- Collaborate on solutions. Ask what they could do—or what they’d do in your shoes—to prevent recurrence. Explore how you can support them and what resources might help.
By following this process, you’ll uncover the real issues, often including details you never had before. And instead of approaching a problem with assumptions and blame, you’ll engage your team member as a partner in solving it—strengthening trust and building a healthier culture.
